Various documents from a time before now

This is where old stuff is retired at the end of its pointless existence. Sometimes things get created and retired at the same time.

Cause of worlds problems found - 2007.07.04

Investigators have announced today that they have found the cause of all the worlds problems. Expert teams have been working at various locations around the world, finally zeroing in on a small country in the South Pacific. A building in an unnamed suburb was placed under surveillance for several months. Specialized monitoring equipment was setup around the building. This detected an extremely high level of particle rays similar to gamma radiation but of a never before seen wavelength.

The investigation was initially hampered by numerous problems with field staff, ranging from absenteeism to outright brawls. In one incident officers were found to have deserted a surveillance job and were playing poker in the local pub. Another officer was referred for internal disciplinary procedures after being caught offering classified surveillance gear for sale on an Internet auction site.

"At first we thought we'd just hired an unusually bad team, but then we came to realize that all these incidents were occurring only in people exposed to the unknown particle rays" a spokesman said. "Once we had our staff fitted out with protective suits the problems went away. We can now say with absolute certainty that every problem known to man originates from that building. With the application of one small nuke at this location we can be assured that all the worlds problems will at last be solved."

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