Various documents from a time before now

This is where old stuff is retired at the end of its pointless existence. Sometimes things get created and retired at the same time.

The wheel reloaded - 2007.06.21

Some time ago I mentioned (briefly) that I'd invented the wheel. Not surprisingly this stirred up some controversy as evidenced by the raging debates in the media over the ensuing months. All sane reasonable thinking people of course accepted that it was the right time for such an invention, and could see that there would be clear benefits to society at large from its implementation. Unfortunately there is always a small minority of mindless dolts who scoff at anything new so I thought it may be helpful to provide a bit more detail about this invention.

Without getting in too deep with the technicalities, a wheel can be described as fundamentally round, rather like the full moon but smaller. Additionally a wheel retains its round shape throughout the month unlike the moon which as everyone knows only appears round a few days each month. A wheel is constructed by taking an egg and cutting off the curved ends, retaining the centre piece which after drying is ready to use. By choosing suitable egg types many different sizes of wheels can be constructed. Several hatcheries have already been setup and when they reach full production are expected to have a capacity of thousands of eggs per week all destined for the emerging wheel industry.

The benefit of this invention is blatantly obvious but there are many whose intelligence falls well below the threshold of even the most sensitive monitoring equipment, so for their sake I shall attempt to state it clearly. Wheels roll; rather like the effect one gets when one drops a ball on the ground and it moves along the ground to a different place. That is what wheels do, but deliberately rather than accidentally. By taking this concept of rolling one step further we can see that if a wheel is suitably attached to another object then the entire object can be made to roll. The expression "we're on a roll" will soon take on a whole new meaning.